The Sauce Awards - Week 14

December 12, 2017 | Leave a Comment

Welcome to the Sauce Awards. We just wrapped up Week 14 of the NFL and can you believe there are only three weeks left of the regular season? I remember when we first started this blog back in week 1. My fantasy team was healthy, the worst record your team could have was 0-1 and it didn't get dark at 4pm. Boy, those were the days. Let's get saucy:

The Red Dragon - Wentz out for year with a torn ACL

Look, we all knew the Eagles were going to collapse at some point during the season. That's just how the cheesesteaks melt in Philadelphia. It's unfortunate it's coming in the form of a season-ending injury because I think most of us, Philly haters included, actually do like Wentz. He seems to do things the right way and made some plays this year that you couldn't help but admire. That being said, the Red Dragon was going to have to bend the knee sooner or later. You can't defeat a franchise curse without a little more horsepower behind the Wentz wagon.

The Boss - Adam Vinatieri extra point

What's that? You need a pair of Super Bowl winning field goals? No problem. An extra point in a half-foot of snow to send the game to overtime? Sure, why not. All Adam Vinatieri does is bury clutch field goals. So, if you thought Vinny Rings was going to be hindered by a little Buffalo weather on Sunday, think again. He has more ice in his veins than the rivers of Upstate NY. And I think we can all appreciate Vinatieri for keeping his clutch muscles in shape despite being on a 3-10 Colts team. This kick sent the contest into OT and the only thing that tops snow football is Snow-vertime. Unless you know of another situation where 300lb humans celebrate by doing snow angels.

Chipotle Jolt - Josh Gordon

Since Josh Gordon returned from his three-year hiatus, the Browns offense has actually begun to resemble something of an offense. Not to say that starting rookie quarterbacks and not putting any weapons around them wasn't working out just fine for Cleveland but I think they've exhausted all of their passes on 'rebuilding years.' With Gordon shining brightly in his first two games back from suspension, and Myles Garrett piecing together a solid rookie campaign, maybe, just maybe, the vortex that dizzied the Browns organization for so many years tossed them out in the right direction. So yeah, if Josh Gordon wants to start this sunglasses trend in mid-December on an 0-13 team, I'm going to let it slide.

Atomic Meltdown - Dez Bryant whiffing on catch

This is what happens when you throw up the X too early, folks. Catch the ball, maintain possession to the ground, deliver a "Yo momma" zinger to the defender, and THEN do your branded touchdown hand gesture. At least that's how it was back in my day. Of course, our field was uphill both ways and we never had any of those fancy receiver gloves... All I'm saying is put away the avocado toast and act like you've been there before Dez, geez louise.

Gold Rush - Cam juke and 62 yard run

I'm all for everything Cam Newton does... so long as it works. Because let's face it, when things don't go Cam's way, he'll turn into that friend who ruins birthday parties because someone else is getting all the attention. Was it cool that Cam euro stepped in the hole and broke Andrew Sendejo's ankles? Absolutely. But had Sendejo not bit so hard left, that ball was popping out with even the slightest contact. Then we would've had a completely different outcome to this game and a completely different outcome to his postgame interview, which was mostly about his new brimless hat.

Honorable Mentions:

- Alshon Jeffrey's nifty little catch
- Quinton Jefferson trying to climb into the stands
- Eli is the proud starter of 211 of the last 212 games

Thanks for reading, see you next week!

Comments