The Sauce Awards - Week 5

October 11, 2017 | Leave a Comment

Week 5 of the NFL just wrapped up and if you're a Giants fan, well, at least the Yankees are still alive. Bills fans, not going to say I told you so. I mean, I'm actually not going to say it. We both knew it was inevitable. Let's get saucy:

The Slayer - Aaron Rodgers Game winning TD

Oh, you're a with team with the lead and less than two minutes to play? Too bad, Aaron Rodgers eats hearts. Here's a little tidbit for Green Bay's opponents: don't give Rodgers the ball back with any time left. Not even a second. This is a guy who has literally thrown THREE successful Hail Mary's... That. Is. So. Many. Hail. Mary's. Rodgers completed this game winning drive despite Jerry Jones transparent attempt to blind him with the sun-wielding structure that is AT&T Stadium. You may not buy into conspiracies like myself but look, all I'm saying is the sun is working for somebody. Clear as day.

Loco Bueno - Bears 2-point conversion trickery

The John Fox lead Bears ran not one but TWO trick plays in this week's MNF matchup. It's honestly a great strategy by Fox. Lure defenses to sleep after electing to punt on every 4th and 1 for the last 15 years then pull out the bag of tricks you've had over a decade to perfect all at once. The Vikings got duped twice and who can blame them. Fox is a more conservative signal caller than my sweet, supportive Grandmother who throws her blinker on six blocks before her turn. And all this coming in Mitch Trubisky's debut nonetheless. You had this all planned out didn't you, John, you sly fox you.

Virgin - Myles Garrett

In typical Cleveland fashion, Browns first overall pick, Myles Garrett, suffered a high ankle sprain just days before the season opener. The injury delayed the start of his rookie campaign until this past Sunday's week 5 matchup against the Jets. Deemed a once-in-a-generational talent, Garrett didn't disappoint. He finished the day with two sacks. The first coming on the first play of his NFL career. Sure, they played the Jets (and lost), but, if you're a Cleveland fan, you just might have a reason to be optimistic about the future.

Wild West - BYU dancing mascot

If you could meet one person, living or dead, who would it be? If your eyes are working properly, the correct answer is Cosmo the Cougar. I mean try to watch this and not smile. Just try.

Atomic Meltdown - Big Ben's 5 INT afternoon

I think I speak for just about everyone who doesn't live in western Pennsylvania when I say what happened on Sunday was delicious. How tired are you of seeing this spoiled sports town always have a team in contention? Boston, you keep quiet, but everyone else... Come on, let's talk smack together! Seriously though, if I start a GoFundMe will you guys fund the production of a 'Groundhog Day-themed' movie about Big Ben's day against the Jags? We'll cast him to be extra pudgy, I promise.

Honorable Mentions:

-Nelson Agholor has dangles (still isn't a reliable fantasy play though)
-Western Michigan vs. Buffalo played a seven-overtime game
-Iowa State upsets Oklahoma then plants their own flag giving Baker Mayfield a taste of his own medicine
-The Giants are holding practice in the ICU this week

See you next week.

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