The Sauce Awards - Week 7

October 24, 2017 | Leave a Comment

We just wrapped up Week 7 in the NFL and it featured one of the craziest Thursday night games in recent memory and a very London, London game. I found it in my heart to forgive Marshawn Lynch for ruining my fantasy team's chances and I think you should too. He took the BART home after all. Let's get saucy:

Wild West - Jeff Heath, the backup kicker with great biceps

Over the last few years, there has been a huge outcry (by me) to shrink NFL rosters from 53 players to 22. With Cowboy's free safety, Jeff Heath, stepping into the shoes of their injured place kicker so easily, there's never been a better time to reopen this discussion. First of all, I didn't even know all of my JV basketball coach's names. There was coach Shepard who I thought was in charge and then all of the assistants were just, "coach." So, trying to keep track of 53 guy's names doesn't work for me. Second, teams could save a ton of money with just 22 players. This season of Hard Knocks showed us that everyone who isn't playing just stands around and talks about Game of Thrones anyways, so why pay extra for that? Lastly, if you're looking for the answer to the league's injury problem, watch as everyone exercises caution when they have no contingency plan.

Loco Bueno - Kenny Stills circus catch

In a league where what is and isn't a catch changes on a play-to-play basis, it's no surprise the ref initially called this miraculous catch by Stills incomplete. It's confusing, overwhelming, and perplexing anytime someone on the Dolphins makes a big play. Without Cutler slangin' INT's for the next few weeks courtesy of his cracked ribs, we're hoping to see a few more of highlights like this from the 'fins, before they slip back into their stagnate mediocrity.

The General - Alabama water vendor taking reps

In Tuscaloosa, no one's job is safe. That next man up is always breathing down the necks of their mascots, ticket takers, and water vendors. More than likely, this kid was a top recruit who thought they were just going to walk in and be given the starting job. Not at Saban's Alabama. They learned the hard way, but clearly, they learned. This is the kind of work ethic that will earn you a job working the lower level seats on Saturdays. Love the hustle.

Flying Fajita - Bolu Olorunfunmi surfs into end zone

With just about the most fun last name a running back could possibly have, Bolu Olorunfunmi did just about the most fun thing you could possibly do on a football field. Everyone who's ever carried a football before has dreamed of jumping over a defender for six points, but surfing into the end zone was something I had never fathomed. If this isn't programmed into the Madden juke set by the time someone on the Browns is on the cover, I'm filing a grievance. I feel like that's a pretty generous timeframe.

Also, are we sure this wasn't some sort of PR stunt for the next Transformers movie?

Flaming Parmesan - Bills Mafia is on fire

The Bills Mafia are having themselves a season, folks. Potentially their best to date, and I've seen someone literally light themselves on fire before. Oh wait, is that every week? Yeah never mind, this happens every week.

Honorable Mentions:

-Robby Anderson throws his feet up and celebrates in style.
-Julio Jones says I am a man, give me that ball.
-The ominous fog in Foxborough

Thanks for saucin' it up with us, see you next week.

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